You might be a bureaucrat if:
<ul>
<li>your job was created by a law
<li>you can stay out of work for 6 weeks and no one misses you
<li>you stand between a desire and its fulfillment
<li>your income is from government coffers
<li>you believe that nothing can be done without policy
<li>you believe that nothing should be done without policy
<li>you believe that violating policy is worse than violating the 10 commandments
<li>you honor policy more than right
<li>you honor policy more than humanity
<li>you don`t care what happens to the country as long as your job is unaffected
<li>you believe that more government is needed
<li>you don`t trust anyone but yourself or another bureaucrat
<li>you sacrifice freedom for the good of the bureaucracy
<li>you truly believe you help someone by applying red tape
<li>you elevate process over production
<li>you believe that people must be saved from themselves
<li>you are threatened by creativity
<li>you are threatened by independence
<li>you are threatened by non-conformity
<li>you don`t understand how nature works (without bureacracy)
<li>you frequently use the phrase <i>that`s how it is</i> as if that justifies
<li>you frequently use the phrase <i>that`s the law</i> as if that justifies
<li>you frequently use the phrase <i>I`m just doing my job</i> as if that justifies
<li>you are comfortable using the phrase <i>I will have to report that</i>
<li>you believe policy is good as it serves to provide a scapegoat when things go wrong
<li>you believe that policy is good since it came from above (you administratively)
<li>you consider freedom to be anything which policy does not cover
<li>you feel that policy should cover everything
<li>you assume overseers are immune to the problems that plague the overseen
<li>you consider any external schedule offensive that imposes on your schedule
<li>you react to such external schedule impositions by extending your schedule
<li>you consider any complaint as grounds for a new policy
<li>you would never shoot someone but you are fully capable of grinding them to dust
<li>you would never verbally abuse someone but you have no problem treating them as a statistic
<li>you can ignore phone calls or emails with impunity
<li>you expect a raise simply because you follow policy
<li>you expect a retirement pension simply because you endured
<li>you never question policy
<li>you always question those who question policy
<li>you never wonder how things aught to be
<li>you never question your own motives
<li>you never question the validity of your existence
<li>you only consider the ethics outlined in policy
<li>you believe there cannot be too much policy
<li>you believe the solution to bad bureaucracy is a new bureau to oversee it
<li>you believe paying taxes is a privilege
<li>you believe that taxpayers are ignorant 
<li>you believe that taxpayers have too much wealth
<li>you believe that taxpayers who complain should have their taxes raised so that they will have to work a second job thus eliminating the time they spend complaining
<li>you believe a regulation is a good thing
<li>you believe that regulation requiring a license is a better than a simple regulation
<li>you believe that a regulation requiring a renewable license is better than a regulation requiring a one-time license
<li>you believe in tax and spend to the second power - tax their taxes and tax them when they spend
<li>you believe that Irish and Chinese bureaucrats came to America to escape being persecuted for their bureaucracy
<li>you believe that our country was built on the backs of those Irish and Chinese bureaucrats
<li>you believe that immigration requirements should be relaxed so that there will be more people to regulate, to tax and to frustrate (not to mention - to vote)
<li>you believe that our country can spend its way out of debt
<li>you believe that our country needs you doing what you are doing
<li>you understand that money is just paper and that paper is cheap so we should keep printing money to give the paper value
<li>you believe that natural resources are unlimited
<li>you believe that food is created at Food Lion
<li>you think that truck drivers drive big fuel-inefficient rigs for the fun of it
<li>you think that a deadbeat can be rehabilitated by a handout
<li>you think that a jobless person will find a job before his unemployment runs out
<li>you think an unwed mother won`t impregnate herself to get a raise
<li>you think that people who get food stamps can`t get their hands on cash
<li>you think that people given a stipend will work anyway
<li>you truly believe that poverty can be eliminated
<li>you truly believe that poverty can be eliminated from the cofers of the wealthy
<li>you don`t understand the principle of `seed, time and harvest`
<li>you think that daylight savings time really saves time
<li>you think that daylight savings time is a good idea
<li>you think that <i>President`s Day</i> makes sense
<li>you think that government is good
<li>you think that big government is better than basic government
<li>you think that private property demonstrates greed
<li>you think that good intention outweighs any bad results
<li>you think that bad policy should be corrected with additional policy
<li>you think that ethical behavior can be legislated
<li>you don`t know what your department does
<li>you don`t know what your agency does
<li>you don`t know who your boss is
<li>you don`t care that you might be a bureaucrat
<li>your mother and father were bureaucrats
<li>your teachers were bureaucrats
<li>you don`t go to church
<li>you don`t know anyone who goes to church
<li>you think that churches should be regulated
<li>you think that churches should be taxed and regulated
<li>you think that all the assets in churches should be confiscated for better use by the government
<li>you don`t know God 
<li>you don`t know there is a God 
<li>you think that if there is a God , He should be regulated
<li>you think all law is good by definition
<li>you think laws should last forever
<li>you think lawmakers are infallible
<li>you think policy makers are infallible
<li>you think God messed up
<li>you believe in prayer - as long as it is for leniency when policy is violated
<li>you believe in charitable giving - as long as the funds come from the tax coffers
<li>you pray for peace - because you are a coward
<li>you believe that power corrupts when that power is not held by the government
<li>you believe absolute power doesn`t corrupt absolutely - rather it is the lofty goal of bureaucracy
<li>you get your political opinions from HollyWood
<li>you would undergo any imaginable abuse to keep your job
<li>you would mete out any imaginable abuse to keep your job
<li>you smile when you hear the words <i>Federal Bureaucracy</i>
<li>you frown when you hear the words <i>budget cuts</i>
<li>you smile when you hear the words <i>Big Government</i>
<li>you frown when you hear the words <i>reduce the size of government</i>
<li>you smile when you hear the words <i>tax increase</i>
<li>you frown when you hear the words <i>tax decrease</i>
</ul>